| omfg this is rediculous |
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| 09:06pm 15/09/2005 |
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ok.. i'm trying to watch our "president" on tv...
i'm listening to his speech...
I swear it is the SAME goddamn speech he gave after 9-11.. just changed the words.. new your to new orleans... and smoke (from the fires) - to water... etc, etc, etc...
*runs off screaming!!!* |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| I'm outta here |
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| 04:13pm 08/06/2004 |
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So i stopped writing in this thing a long time ago, and i've feabily tried to update but it just doesn't seem to be happening.
As of today this journal is closed... i will be starting a new one for those of you who want to read it (one i'm actually going to update like i used to). Soooo... if you care to be included let me know and i will add you to the new one once i have it set up. |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| Just Put A Little Twist On It |
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| 06:19am 07/02/2004 |
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The last few days have been shitty health days, i spent most of my time wrapped up with a heating pad and smoking a LOT to keep myself feeling semi-normal and taking comfort in nathan who has been the sweetest person alive during it. Today was pretty good until the later evening but an angel (named heather) gave me a lovely little pill that definitely helped dull the pain.
We went over to krissy's around 11 tonight and everyone was there... amy, krissy, kim, jorge, eddie, and of course me and nate. It was really fun... all the girls hung back in the bedroom and the guys chilled and played video games. It was nice getting to do the "girl-talk" thing, which is something i so rarely get to do. |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| 04:34pm 04/02/2004 |
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mood:  high
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Name: Jeannie Moody
Nicknames: Jynling, Flayme
Age: 26
Hair color: a bunch of different colors, mostly redish
Birthday: September 12th
Eye Color: Green
Siblings: 1 Sister, 3 half brothers and a step brother
Righty or lefty? righty
How do you describe yourself: lazy
What's your sign? virgo
( Read more... ) |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| 03:10am 20/10/2003 |
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How is it that you can be sitting with someone but yet feel absolutely totally alone?
I'm sitting here with Nate and its like I can't breathe, my mind is racing over all the million things going on in my life. Then there is this added issue of him. He tried to comfort me but it just feels like a complete lie. I know that I do matter to him in a way but he acts so sweet and caring and I just wanna scream. In the long run I know I'm on borrowed time. I know that sooner or later he's gonna find someone that he wants to be with, to date, to love and I know that when that happens he will drop me like a pair of used socks. I'm just trying to decide if that is good enough for me. It's almost like I'm a substitute for what he wants because he doesn't have any better option at the moment. My head is telling me to run far far away and never look back cause I know eventually that look in his eyes won't be for me anymore, that when he reaches for someone it won't be me. It just scares me that I care. That no matter how much I try and fight it that I want to be with him. To sit in his company and just breath his scent and take comfort in him but I know that I can't. I always have to hold back in some way or another. I can't just let myself enjoy our time together.
Today he was here with his friend Jorge to pick up a controller and I was sitting on the floor of the office and he was standing in the doorway just looking at me and every fiber of my being wanted to jump up and hug him and just not let go.
God, I'm so confused.
On other fronts... school is kicking my ass... anyone here good at anatomy? Money is making me want to tear my hair out. I wanna lock myself in a room with no phone, no banks, no bills and just cry. I can't concentrate on my school work for stress over how I'm going to pay for it. Myke and I... well... I dunno. We have been fighting almost non-stop the last couple days and I don't know how to ease the tension. On top of everything else my mom goes into the hospital tomorrow cause they found a tumor on her ovary.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... any advice... words of encouragement... anything? |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| blah... stupid... I know. |
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| 02:09am 20/10/2003 |
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mood:  depressed music: some shitty new metallica song
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Everything a lie
your eyes tell me one thing
your touch comforts me
your words destroy me
how can I believe anything
your touch is hallow
meaning nothing
feeling your warmth
I try to break through
make myself important to you
how can you reach for me
then push me away
do I even mean anything
do you really even care? |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 04:38pm 09/10/2003 |
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mood: depressed music: John Mayer - Tracing
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I'm really sad and I need some advice... this is sorta a long conversation to post and I apologize for that.
Last night Nate and I got into this big huge "thing". I... well I dunno, I have to go to class but I need to figure out a way to cover my eyes, they are swollen from crying all night.
( sigh ) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Hey everyone! |
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| 03:49pm 03/10/2003 |
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mood: depressed
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So I finally got a good bit of stuff in my ebay store and I'm listing more every day so like come buy shit cause I'm poor and I'll like be your best friend or something :-P
My Ebay Store!!! |
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Post |
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| Happy Birthday to me! |
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| 06:25pm 12/09/2003 |
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mood:  happy
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For those of you that don't know, today is my birthday. So far I would have to say that it was been one of the best birthday's I've had in years...
Last night Nate called me at exactly midnight to wish me a happy birthday, which I thought was so incredibly sweet. He got here about 12:15 and we hung out for a while had a drink, watched tv and basically just chilled. Around 2:30 or so he got a call from an old friend of his who me he hadn't seen in a while so we ended up going to go visit him which was really fun. I got to meet Nate's ex-roommate Chrissy (she's very nice) and meet his friend Neal whom was hitting on me hardcore. So we all sat out of the balcony and smoked a couple bowls and laughed a lot. Gave the dude my number cause he was kinda cool to chill with then we headed down to palmyra so Nate could pick up some clothing, ended up his roommate was there sleeping (he thought the house was empty) so we didn't stay long. Although he is forever tellin me how his bed is so wicked comfortable so while we were there I laid down for a few minutes... it's thee most comfortable bed I've ever laid on. I seriously didn't want to get up. Hmm... so after that we drove back to my place, chilled and got waaaaaaaaayyyyy baked then we were supposed to go for munchies but I thought I heard Nate say, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and then we will go. So I'm chillin in the office waiting for him to come out.... he doesn't come out... so I'm like... well maybe he's having issues so I sit down and start playing some online game and like 40 minutes later I'm like... ya know... maybe he isn't in the bathroom... I got downstairs and he's crashed on the couch. I dunno, I found that funny. So I laid on the couch with him for a little while and then got up cause I wasn't tired... stayed up and fucked around till like 1... slept till 5:30 and now I'm going to go smoke a bowl and enjoy the rest of my birthday... |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| 06:15am 31/08/2003 |
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Can someone do a LJ Layout for me... i'm so over this plain black crap.
Pleeeeeeeeeaaaasssseeee..... i'll be your best friend. :-) |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| 09:23pm 30/08/2003 |
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Sherry came over around 8 last night, we were going to go up to Harrisburg to watch the fireworks and just hang out on the island but then Nate messaged me about coming over. Once he got her the 3 of us hung out and we were trying to find some weed which proved impossible so we decided we were going to go have a few drinks and then come back here and watch a movie. So around 10 we ended up going to the G-man up the road. About 10 minutes after we got there these 2 guys (Larry & wally) came up to our table to say hi to sherry, turns out she knew them from years and years ago. They ended up joining us for a round of drinks and they asked us if we wanted to meet them down at this other bar cause friends of theirs were playing there. So after we finished out drinks we went back to my house, parked the car and walked to this other bar to meet up with them. When we got there it was pretty crowded so we headed for a booth in the back, Larry sat down with us and bought everyone a round of drinks. So we sat and listened to the band for about 15 minutes when Wally comes over with a round of Mass Confustions, we drink those down and for whatever reason this bar has last call at 12:45 so we decided that we weren't done drinking and wanted to go and hit last call up at the G-man... so me, nate, sherry and larry pile into his truck and head back down there and had another round of Mass Confusions and some other drinks for last call. Around 2 they started kicking everyone out and we decide we are all just way too fucked up to drive home so we
Shit i gotta get a shower, nate is gonna be here soon... i'll finish this entry later... It was major fun, including lesbian action and lotsa sex... |
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Post |
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| *snif* |
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| 04:29pm 24/08/2003 |
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mood:  anxious
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I keep trying to start an entry and I can't seem to find the words for all that has happened in the last few weeks.
I'll start with the boring stuff...
I'm officially starting school again. I have already started online business classes which is pretty much boring but I'm taking classes focused on running a small business so I'll be better prepared for opening my shop back up in the future. I also signed up for massage therapy classes which start the 22nd of September. I'm really nervous, I know it is something I love doing but what if doing it for a living sucks? I guess I shall find out. I ended up having to take out loans for school which REALLY sucks cause I have NO idea how I'm going to make the payments. I guess I'm hoping for some sort of miracle, it seems though that things have a way of working out when you really need them to.
Onto my love life, for lack of a better term. I have been seeing Nate a lot the last two weeks. Even more so this last week cause Jeremiah is in California and I have a bit more alone time. He is an amazing guy, I can't even explain it. We aren't dating for the few people who called him my boyfriend. We are friends, who happen to LOVE making out and occasionally that leads to sex. I just really enjoy spending time with him, we've discussed the possibility that we are getting addicted to each other... I'm not addicted, yet, but it would be so easy to end up in that place. I can't help it, it's the way he laughs and the way everything he feels he puts into his kiss. He has more passion than anyone I have ever met in my entire life. Well, whatever we call it, it's a lot of fun and I'm going to try and enjoy it while it lasts.
Speaking of which... he's gonna be here soon and I need to shower... so off I go...
Forgot to add this... House of 1,000 Corpses is out on video, i rented it, it freaked me out.. it wasn't scary, just gooooooory. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Super Puzzle Fighter is the coolest game EVER!!!! |
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| 02:30pm 18/08/2003 |
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mood: hungover music: silence
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OMG... I was just sitting here writing an update when out of the corner of my eye I saw something moving... I look down and there is a HUGE gross looking spider crawling from the keyboard up onto my hand... EWWWWWW
all right I'll update later cause I feel like someone hit me with a car |
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Post |
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| He called me AMAZING!!!! |
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| 11:42am 14/08/2003 |
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mood:  jubilant music: Joydrop - Strawberry Marigold
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Poll #168406 Freddy Vs. Jason
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 8Are you going to go see this movie? Who do you think will win? Why? |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| On the Verge? |
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| 12:32am 08/08/2003 |
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All right tonight jay came over and we decided that since we didn't have any weed so we were going to try SD again and see what happened. Welllllll...... It didn't go so good, I mean it was fun but well... here is what my tattered memory can recall.
So we decide we are gonna smoke this and last time we tried it we used a bong thingie and nothing happened. So this time he rolled a joint and we started smoking that. While we were smoking it I would feel like it was starting to do something but then it wasn't. so we decided to put some in a bowl and smoke that, we did and I started feeling sorta drunk, like my movements felt like I was drinking, so I sat down on the floor and this is where it all gets quite confusing...
After I sat on the floor I think I took another hit but I'm not positive, I remember putting the bowl on the floor and ash falling out but it didn't really matter. I was just spacey, like I just wanted to sit with my eyes closed and enjoy the feeling of complete relaxation. As I was sitting there I know I had some weird idea about what was going on, I can't really remember exactly what it was though, so we were sitting there me on the floor, jay in the chair, in the dark with the TV on (bad idea, it was annoying me). At some point around here I started feeling like there was someone else in the room, that sounds completely ODD but it was like, I was there, and jay was there but there was another me or something... it was VERY VERY VERY confusing. I believe at this point Jeremiah asked me something and I know I was talking to him and in my own mind I sounded completely relaxed and rational but he was like you sound like I did last time (last time his voice got all weird for a little while and he was mumbling) but I seriously thought I was talking normally, I was trying to explain something important to him... something I was thinking about when I was sitting on the floor with my eyes closed... but I can't for the life of me remember now what it was. Then all of a sudden he was sitting on the floor with me, but I don't remember him actually moving.
So then I was ok and started to calm down again and when I closed my eyes it was like everything disappeared, I couldn't hear the TV, I forgot jay was there and I was just thinking about things, I can't remember what but it was like I knew if I kept thinking that I would remember something I had forgotten a long time ago... which sounds absolutely moronic. So then jay started talking to me... something about the lighter... I FREAKED out and started laughing like a crazy person, I couldn't stop, everything was so funny, the fact that he was yelling at me to shut up and stop laughing made me laugh harder, the look on his face, I think I asked him to stop yelling but I dunno if I did cause I was just laughing hysterically. Then he smacked me across the face, which I found to be EXTERMEMLY funny till I broke out in a sweat... I'm not talking a little clamminess, I'm talking full on sweat like you get when you have a really really bad fever and it breaks, I was just dripping... it was quite gross... Oh yeah... the lighter, I dunno if he was asking e where it was or what but I moved thinking I was sitting on it, or it was behind me and I like sat down by his feet and like when I moved it was like the confusion pretty much went away and I just felt a little weird and for some ODD reason I decide to curl up by his feet ... like in the fetal position... I just wanted everything to be quiet... I can't explain it.. it was like I was in and out of the experience. I kept forgetting jay was there and when I'd realize it, it would freak me out that I could forget... I dunno... it was quite odd.
Anyway, after I curled up he was like WTF... and I was like...I don't know and my buzz just STOPPED... like instantly.
All in all I would have to say it was a good experience even if it didn't go very well. So after that we both had a cigarette and then jay jammed... I think he's mad at me, like that's the feeling I got... I hope not... (I wuv you hun!!! Don't be cranky with me!)
So I've decided that I am going to get more of it but I am going to do what my friend told me to do in the first place... sit in a quiet place and smoke by myself with someone there who is sober and just be quiet and enjoy it... then the other person can do it. I do like the fact it doesn't last long at all... like all this even the smoking was only about 30 minutes.... |
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Read 12 - Post |
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| 12:01am 07/08/2003 |
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he's got a thing about losing control
carries it a mile just to see how far he'll go
he brushes up his chops as he tries to fake a smile
a friend indeed but what I need is someone who'll stay a while
someone to stay a while
you can bend my ear
we will talk all day
just make sure I'm around
when you've finally got somethin to say
he drops hints but he won't tell you what's really on his mind
but I know if I look that it's easy to find
he's got a way with his anger and the way he lets it show
like the smoldering smoke when the fire's left the coals
you can take me down
you can show me your home
not the place where you live
but the place where you belong
you can bend my ear
we will talk all day
just make sure I'm around
when you've finally got something to say
his door is always open and he's always got the time
to give a little somethin even though he gets behind
and your trips become his and your lives are entwined
but like the horse with the junkie it's all in your mind
it's all in your mind
you can take me down
you can show me your home
not the place where you live
but the place where you belong
you can bend my ear
we will talk all day
just make sure I'm around
when you've finally got something to say |
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Read 13 - Post |
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| 04:58pm 05/08/2003 |
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All right so ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) fernzola did this and I figured what the heck I'll do it again and see what people have to say....
I want EVERYONE, no matter how much or how little you know me to post ANONYMOUSLY and tell me EXACTLY what you think of me. Whether good or bad.
Yes, that even includes you, Jeremiah. |
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